Riding home from basketball practice last night, my daughter asked me this question. I asked her to repeat her question at least two more times because I wanted to be sure I heard her correctly, and, I admit, I was a bit shocked. I mean she had every right to ask. There are even adults who struggle with this question. My upbringing was totally different from hers. I was raised in the church, surrounded by a Jesus and church loving family. Although, as I got older, my church attendance became less and less, I had that foundation. I just knew He is real and never questioned His existence. My daughter, on the other hand, did not grow up in the church. As a matter of fact, she has witnessed me struggle in my faith- walk and in general. She has witnessed my inconsistency in prayer, in Bible reading, and in my lifestyle.
Stumbling over what to say and being careful not to quote any scriptures for fear of misquoting one, I tried to explain to her as best I could. I went into the resurrection and pulled back right before attempting to explain the Trinity. “Oh my God, I’m going too far! I’m ill-equipped and need to retreat from this part of my Bible lesson," I thought. I tried to be as transparent as possible, letting her know that sometimes I have questions about Christianity as well. I could feel my 10-year-old son listening intently. Although usually rambunctious, you could hear a pin drop. The conversation drifted somewhere else, probably basketball, but her question still played over and over in my mind. I could tell she was embarrassed for asking but was still bold enough to ask. I love that about her. She’s so fearless. After stopping to pick up dinner from Wendy’s, in my typical American mom fashion, we finally arrived home. Instead of turning on the television as normal, I decided to read a book to them while they ate. It was a Christmas book LOL… Santa Comes to Texas or something like that. I hadn’t read to them in a while. I changed my voice to fit Santa, the elves, and various characters and used my regular voice for the narrator. They were pretty engaged I must say. My four-year-old loved every bit of it and surprisingly, my pre-teen did too! After the book, I opened up my Bible App and searched for the day's scripture which was simple enough to explain, or so I thought. Colossians 3:17, “And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” Eager to put on my mama preacher hat, I pulled up the message version to explain the scripture and make it applicable to our everyday modern lives. I still felt like I was stumbling. I wasn’t confident in my little sermon at all. I wonder if they could sense that? I sure hope not! We are our children’s first source of seeing His word lived out. What a daunting task! With my imperfect self! Some days I’m on a spiritual high and then there are days where I transform into a snapping turtle! I strongly believe that through it all, I must persevere and keep laying my issues at his feet. The Bible says that though the righteous man falls seven times, he rises again. I pray that they keep count of the times I rise and see God lifting me up each time cultivating a knowledge of the “realness” of our loving Father.